Title: Hard Nox
Genre: YA Paranormal
Word Count: 85,000
Pitch: Nox Sumner doesn't fear Death, she's pissed as hell at him and has no intention of doing him any favors. Until she realizes the fate of her small town rests on her ability to kill.
Red and blue lights flashed in the rearview mirror, setting Nox Sumner's teeth on edge. She turned to her best friend, Billy, in the driver's seat. "What did you do now?"
"Hell if I know. I wasn't speeding; my lights work. Can't I just go home and drown my math test blues in biscuits and gravy. Is that too much to ask?"
"You don't have any bodies in the trunk or anything, do you? Because I still have time to hop out the window and make a break for it." She grabbed the window crank with tight fingers.
"Very funny." Billy sighed, coasting to the curb.
"Guess who it is." The side-view mirror revealed Sergeant Carris bumbling around inside the cruiser, doing whatever cops do while people wait, hearts pounding to find out what they had done wrong. Flashing lights and sirens made her heart pound for a different reason.
4 comments:
Your pitch is really strong. It pulls me in and makes me want to read more. If I were to change one thing, it would be the last three words, "ability to kill." I want something stronger here, but I am not sure what.
As far as your first 150 goes, I have heard that you shouldn't start with dialogue. But I am no expert, and I like your first 150.
Good pitch. As someone who's written about Death, I'm always interested in other stories involving that aspect.
I enjoyed the opening. I haven't heard the bit about not opening with dialog. I think it works here.
Good luck!
Strong pitch. It has voice and grabs the readers attention.The excerpt does the same. I really want to know what is going to happen. :)
I agree! VERY strong pitch!
I would read it.. wonderful job!
Post a Comment