So, here's my excerpt, 300 words from my completed YA Paranormal, HARD NOX:
"You feel cold."
"I'm dead." He looked down at himself. "A ghost, sort of."
"Sort of? What does that mean? How are you here? How can you hug me?" She clutched at his arms, afraid to let go, staring up into his face. Upon closer inspection, his skin appeared translucent gray like the little boy in her dream had been. His skin chilled hers, but was solid, tangible. "What's going on?"
"It's kind of hard to explain. I'm sort of stuck here, but I can't stay forever." He pulled her into another hug. "I'm so sorry I had to leave you!"
"It's not your fault." Tears blurred her vision. "I know it's not your fault. I just … it's just … it's so good to see you, touch you — are you okay? Are you hurt or do you …" she trailed off. "I don't understand."
"Perhaps I can shed some light on the matter." A Haden doppelganger in a black hoodie stood next to her dead brother, his intonation eerily familiar.
She blinked, blood icing. "H-haden? There are two of you …"
"No, there isn't," Haden said, pointing to the smirking man next to him. "Look closely."
She met the eyes of the figure from her nightmare. He looked a lot like Haden. But he wasn't, not at all. Her voice dropped with her stomach. "Who's your friend, Haden?"
But she knew. He was Death.
How she recognized him, she couldn't say, but she was absolutely certain, down in her marrow. Completely black irises were indistinguishable from the pupils, sucking her in, drowning her. Catastrophe and inevitability swirled in those eyes, the depth and permanency frightening.
"You can call me Grim." Death spoke slow and easy as a muddy river speckled with driftwood. "It's so good to see you again, Nox."
13 comments:
LOVE a good ghost story. This had some great imagery. Thank you for sharing.
Really good story. You introduced a lot of characters in just 300 words and did it very well.
Nicely done. :D
Very nice! I love death as a character.
Oh yeah. This piece had my heartbeat rising in anxiety. Breathless for sure!
Well done! love stories where Grim is the character.
OOooooooo...Creep-tastic!
spooky. Death always brings chills. =)
See you again? THere must be something behind that! Interesting.
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I like this a lot. It flows well and the characters are strong for a snippet this short.
I'd read more of this! I'd like to see what happens next :D
I love this! This is really well written and very suspenseful.
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