It's Not a Hoax!

Desiring to be a writer means desiring people to read what I take the time to write down. Turns out that's true in my professiona life as well. We are in the middle of residence hall move out. Nobody likes to move. I don't even like to watch people move. We all want to be doing something else. I would rather be finishing my novel, and I'm sure the students would rather be home tucking into some of mom's homecooking.

However, since we're all stuck in this together, it would really make my life easier if all of these bright, intelligent and seemingly literate college students could learn to read a sign. Unfortunately, good customer service prevents me from responding to the questions I receive because they REFUSE to read sign in the way in which I would like.

Contrary to popular belief, there IS such a thing as a stupid question.
So, here's a new series for you. Stupid Questions & Answers I Wish I Could Give:
(Please keep in mind there is a sign on my door that says: TO CHECK OUT OF YOUR ROOM CALL the RA on DUTY (555-555-5555)

1. Do we have to check out before we leave?

No - the flyers, hall meetings, RA meetings, bulletin boards, emails and 16 Facebook posts were all part of an elaborate hoax by Res Life to make your life difficult during finals. Because you know, we have TONS of free time on our hands in May.

2. Do I need to get my stuff out of my room before I check out.

No. Leave your stuff in there. Of course, once you check out I'm taking your key and locking the door, so you'll never see that stuff again. Unless you visit the pawn shop across the street.

3. (This question is from a student with his hand ON MY SIGN) Who do I call to check out?

Lift your hand. Look down. Learn to read. Have questions? Call Hooked on Phonics.

4. Where do I get trashbags to throw my trash away?

I don't know - the dollar store? I recommend wherever you've been buying trashbags for the whole year.

5. Can you check me out?

NO. Call the RA on Duty.

6. How do I call the RA on Duty?

Pull out your phone. Punch in the numbers on the sign (under your hand) and hit talk. Regular service charges apply.

And I could do a whole other post on how a lot of people I love and adore must have left their brains in their other pants. But I'll save that for another day.